Are there any funny computer jokes?

Written by Clive Webster

March 26, 2009 | 12:24

Tags: #comedy #geforce #gts-250 #humour

Companies: #nvidia

Most areas of our modern life seem easy to create jokes from – politics is an obvious choice, but you can probably think of quite a few jokes about pubs, traffic wardens, flying, pretty much everything. But it struck me last night that I haven’t heard a funny IT joke for ages. Or perhaps ever. The best I could up with was this:

Q: What’s Ali G’s favourite MP3 player?
A: An AiiiPod.

How lame is that?
The Spice Girl joke of a while ago was kind of okay, even if it was a little bit sexist. It goes, ‘How do you know if a Spice Girl has been using your PC? Because there’s Tipp-Ex all over the screen.’

This is still hardly up there with the classics though, is it? Quite a lot of the world of IT comedy revolves around sarcastic definitions of words or job descriptions, for example:

Program (pro’-gram)
[noun] Something that turns a user’s inputs into error messages.
[noun] To engage in a pastime similar to banging one’s head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.

But this is only good for a knowing it-shouldn’t-be-like-this smirk, and not big belly-laughs. Then there’s the IT anecdote – usually revolving around a tech support phone call or an IT worker’s frustration with a manger that doesn’t understand what a computer is or does. There are plenty of these anecdotes scattered around the interweb, and quite a few are collated at However, most seem very contrived in their construction, with this story in particular having an infeasibly bizarre situation.

However, I do have an IT anecdote of my own that I’d like to share. And I stress that this is an absolutely true story. One day a few years ago the press representative from Nvidia drove down to drop something off. I think it was the first Nvidia SLI system, or possibly the first Quad SLI PC. Anyway, he was driving a red Vauxhall and I piped up, ‘Ahh, is that because red ones go faster?’

‘Emm, no, actually, they’re a bit slower’ came the reply.

Immediately I retorted with, ‘Ahh, but is that just a driver issue?’

We looked at each other for a while, not quite believing what we’d witnessed – I’m not usually quite that quick (and he knew that), and we could both sense that maybe we’d just ad-libbed one of the best IT anecdotes ever.

But then again, maybe not. What do you think? And do you know any better computer-related jokes? Let us know on the comments thread below.

I just want to set some ground rules though. First, try to keep the jokes clean and not too non-PC. Secondly, just posting ‘Nvidia’s GTS 250’ or ‘the GeForce GT 150’ is not, strictly speaking, a joke. Neither is just posting ‘Joe’s Mum’, as funny as she is.
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