Energy Drink Roundup

Pussy

Manufacturer: Pussy Drinks
Typical Price (UK): £2.25 (inc VAT)
Typical Price (US): N/A

Clive: Next up is… See? I’m not even sure we should say the name…

Rich: Yeah, go on, you’ve gotta say it!

Mark: You’ve got to; that’s what the name is…

Harry: I don’t know that you can even buy this, where did it come from?

Mark: No, you really can buy Pussy legally over the counter!

[Laughter]


Harry: So, this is the MTV-endorsed Pussy energy drink [also endorsed by Peaches Geldof and Kelly Osbourne – Ed].

[Laughter]

Clive: So, are we all gonna be sipping on some Pussy?

Harry: Yeah, we’re all gonna be supping on the same [can of] Pussy today.

[Giggles]

Harry: Pass it around

Mark: Ah man, I’ve just spilt some of the juice from the Bawls on my trousers…

Clive: Don’t get it near the Pussy…

[Giggles]

Mark: That’s shocking…

Harry: Okay, this comes in a kind of Red Bull-type can. Apparently it has added milk thistle, whatever that is…

Clive: Milk thistle?

Harry: Argh, that smells… not good to me…

Rich: What happens when you mix some of the red Bawls and the Pussy together?

Harry: An energy drink overdose

Clive: Energy drink offspring?

[Giggles]

Harry: [smelling Pussy] It’s rather unpleasant…

Clive: [chuckles] Pussy smells unpleasant?

Mark: Hang on, this is getting out of hand…

Clive: [smells Pussy] Urgh!

Mark: [smells Pussy] Oh my god…

Harry: [smelling Pussy again] Agh, Urgh, Oh, that smells, Urgh, that smells…. Argh… I haven’t even tasted it yet…

[Giggling]

Mark: Oh wow, the Pussy tastes great…

[Childish giggling]

Clive: It smells horrible though

Harry: Yeah, horrible…

Mark: Smells bad, but tastes great.

Clive: It smells a bit like crushed thistle. Which I guess in’t all that surprising… Ooo, I think I’ve got a head-rush…

Mark: Did anyone used to drink Um Bongo?

Harry: It is a little bit Um Bongo-y. It’s more bitter than Um Bongo

Rich: So you’re saying it’s like a monkey’s crotch or something?

Harry: No, Um Bongo’s nice…

Clive: OOOoo, that’s horrible!

Harry: It’s sweet and fruity like Um Bongo would be, except it’s bitter…

Clive: And rank…

Mark: It’s not, it’s nice. It’s like Um Bongo, it’s fine.

Harry: [at mark] No, I think you’re the only one that thinks that’s anywhere near passable…

Clive: It’s a bit like elderflower wine; it’s got that kind of bitterness…

Mark: I’d go with that, yep. I’m quite into the Pussy actually.

[Giggles]

Harry: You can finish the Pussy then

Rich: Are you just trying to reaffirm that fact Mark? Guys, I prefer this to the Bawls, I love it, I love the Pussy….

[Laughter]

Harry: Is this some kind of secret ad campaign? To give all energy drinks some kind of sexually ambiguous name?

Clive: So, what’s next?