Ghost Recon: Wildlands Review

Written by Rick Lane

March 10, 2017 | 16:00

Tags: #ghost-recon-wildlands

Companies: #ubisoft

[Bowman]: Affirmative. So long as you can find three other people willing to embark upon a mission that will require dozens, possibly hundreds of hours of their time.

[Ghost Leader]: And if I can’t?

[Bowman]: Then you will be accompanied by semi-sentient robots that can magically teleport wherever you go and yet somehow manage to never be in the right place at the right time.

[Ghost Leader]: I get the feeling you aren’t taking this entirely seriously, Agent Bowman. Could you possibly provide a more detailed breakdown of how you expect us to achieve this goal?

Ghost Recon: Wildlands Review

[Bowman]: I’m sending over some intel briefings to you now, Ghost Leader. Santa Blanca is a many-headed hydra, with each head controlling a different region. Now we can’t confirm the exact location of any of these leaders so-

[Ghost Leader]: So your ‘intel’ is next to useless.

[Bowman]: If you'll kindly let me finish. So you’ll need to gather information on the ground by interrogating low-level gang-members, raiding cocaine factories, and completing dozens of other missions which may seem extremely similar but are actually totally different. Once you’ve collected enough Intel, you’ll be able to track down one of these main players and take them out, before moving on to the next one.

[Ghost Leader]: I know we Ghosts are pure badasses and everything. But that’s a lot of work for four operatives.

Ghost Recon: Wildlands Review

[Bowman]: Up to.

[Ghost Leader]: Up to four operatives.

[Bowman]: You’ll also be able to enlist the assistance of local rebel forces if you complete various side-missions for them. Steal supplies and collect intel on their behalf, and they’ll recon locations for you, fight alongside you, and even provide support in the form of mortar bombardments.

[Ghost Leader]: That’s a little more like it. What are the Rules of Engagement?

[Bowman]: You’ll have complete freedom to choose which missions you embark on, and approach them however you wish. You could opt for traditional Ghost tactics, scouting out areas using your binoculars and portable drone, establishing a vantage point and using your squad’s “Sync-shot” ability to take down large groups of enemies simultaneously.

Alternatively, you could take a more direct approach, such as parachuting into the centre of a compound with the biggest machinegun you can find.

Ghost Recon: Wildlands Review

[Ghost Leader]: I guess that sounds fun. But can I charge into a compound firing a rocket launcher while riding on the back of an elephant?

[Bowman]: Er, no.

[Ghost Leader]: Can I attach an enemy to an air canister with a special kind of grappling hook and then shoot the air canister to make him fly around and around before exploding?

[Bowman]: No!

[Ghost Leader]: Can I stop an enemy convoy of trucks with an inflatable decoy of myself, and then steal the trucks by attaching a giant balloon to them, leaving the enemy soldiers in a state of total befuddlement?

[Bowman]…wh...of course not!

Ghost Recon: Wildlands Review

[Ghost Leader]: I see. So tell me, Agent Bowman, what exactly can I do in this vast and open landscape that’s going to make my own brand of emergent stealth combat stand out from other special operatives around the world?

[Bowman]: You aren't supposed to “stand out!” you’re literally a Ghost. Well, not literally a Ghost. You’re literally…figuratively referred to as a Ghost. This is a serious operation, with serious goals and serious combat protocols. You infiltrate, you shoot all the bad guys, you exfiltrate. Over and over again in five-minute feedback loops, until all the icons I have scattered all over the giant map I sent you have disappeared.

[Ghost Leader]: Roger that, Agent Bowman. A serious operation. Speaking of which, I’ve just been going through some of the Intel you sent me, and I noticed there’s a mission outlined here where we are to blow up a Quinoa factory.

[Bowman]: A what factory?

[Ghost Leader]: Quinoa. “Key” as in “car key”, and “Noir” as in “Film noir.”

[Bowman]: Oh! I thought it was pronounced “Quinn Knower”

[Ghost Leader]: No it’s definitely “Key Noir.”

[Bowman]: Oh God. I’ve been saying “Quinn Knower” to all my middle-class friends. This is so embrassing.
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